SASODEI: Price of eternity
by SoulWithoutASoulmate
Summary: Eternity is beatifull. But it comes at very high price. Is he willing to pay it? SasorixDeidara yaoi
1. Chapter 1

SASODEI: PRICE OF ETERNITY

Oneshot

**Author's note: Something that I had in mind for a really long time and finally decided to write it. Enjoy the story.**

**Warning: yaoi, lemon, guyxguy (don't like it, don't read it)**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and lyrics are not mine.**

_Living in a world so cold, wasting away._

_Living in a shell with no soul _

_since you've gone away._

_(Three days grace "World so cold")_

Eternity. Just one meaningless word and yet so much beauty is hidden within it. Beauty of never fading, never rotting or disappearing. You will never be forgotten because you will always be there. You will never feel the pain of the death. And if you kill your emotions it will become even more beautiful. You won't regret anything. Sadness, sorrow and tears will be lost forever. But also you will lose happiness, joy and love. Love. The most dangerous emotion ever created. Wars were fought because of it, lives were lost and families were torn apart. Love was the hardest to defeat. When you think that there is no love for someone like you it comes and grabs you. And it will always appear where you don't expect her to be. You will forget about everything else because love is just like a poison it spreads through your bloodstream until it takes over your body completely. And the beauty of love is so great that it surpasses the beauty of eternity. He has chosen the eternity but when he felt love he realised that is better to love and die then to live forever alone. He has found his love but to keep it he had to do that one thing he feared the most: die and be born again. But for him he will do anything. Because he was worth it. "For you my love" he said as he felt two swords pierce his heart.

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><p>He was going back to find Sasori. He was sure that he will mock him for losing his arms while he was undamaged. It was easy for him. He only fought an old hag and pink-haired girl. How could they possibly defeat his Danna? When he came he saw that the cave has collapsed and a lot of broken puppets were lying on the ground. So what, he lost a few puppets. It doesn't mean that he was defeated. Right? No. No. NOOO! This wasn't real. It can' be real. His mind was playing tricks on him. Or this was all some kind of a sick joke. He can't be dead. "How can you do this to me? You promised me you liar, un! You said that you would always be with me. You said that you would never leave me. That we will be together forever, un!" he was shouting at puppet. As if it could hear him. It wasn't his Danna. His Danna was dead. This was just a shell. Just a worthless puppet. It couldn't see him. It could see the pain in his blue eyes. It couldn't see the tears. No one could right now. He was once again completely alone in this cruel, cold world. The only person who made him feel loved, made his loneliness disappear was gone. His reason for being alive was gone.<p>

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><p>When he came back to base no one said anything. Everything was completely silent. It wasn't that pleasant kind of silence that calmed you down and brought peace to your soul. It was that creepy silence that made the air you breathe heavy that made you think that all the sound in the world suddenly disappeared. It was better like this. Better than having to listen their comforting. What use would he have of empty words? Words can't bring him back. He sat with blank expression on his face on the bed as he waited for Kakuzu to stitch his arms. He briefly wondered will he have to pay for this. He didn't feel the pain of stitching. His body was numb for all the pain in this world. Because to feel anything you need a heart. And he had it no more. It was shattered in the thousand of pieces. It wasn't a heart. It was an open wound constantly bleeding, sucking out all the life he had in his body. After the stitching was done he went to his room. It was only his now. When he came into the room he could see memories in every little corner. How he would sit in the Sasori's lap while he was working on his puppets. The bed they shared so many times. On the small table there was a picture of them. They were hugging and smiling. It looked so distant now like it happened decades ago. Next to the picture were a puppet that looked like him and clay figure that looked like a Sasori. Valentine gifts. And who will he give gift to this year? To a dark, cold grave? And to make things worse even the air was filled with memories. It smelled like wood polish, clay and oak tree. He couldn't take it anymore. He fell on his knees and started crying. He cried until he fell on the floor, unconscious and exhausted.<p>

_FEW DAYS LATER_

"Guys we need to talk" Konan said to the rest of Akatsuki except Pain wasn't there. "About what?" Kisame asked finally moving his lips from Itachi's neck. "Deidara". That got everyone's attention. "She's right we need to do something. That fucking blonde is going to kill himself. He is not eating and the only reason he fucking sleeps is because he cries himself to sleep! If that fucker keeps like this another member will be fucking dead!" Hidan said loudly that others were sure that he could be heard even outside the base. "And we can't afford the cost of funeral. Hidan be quiet, you idiot!". "You're not the boss of me! I'LL SHOUT AS MUCH AS I WANT TO!". Hidan luckily for the ears of others hasn't managed to say anything else because Kakuzu caught him with his tentacles. In the end it turned into a bloody fight disgusting to look at because you couldn't tell which body part belonged to Hidan and which to Kakuzu. Konan tried to resist the urge to bang her head on the table. They were not helping Deidara like this. "Since Hidan and Kakuzu are useless, Zetsu would probably solve the problem by turning Deidara into a meal and Tobi is well... Tobi could you help me?" she said and turned to Itachi and Kisame. "Of course we will. Hmm Itachi do you have any suggestions?". "You are his best friend. Go and talk to him. He will feel better if he realises that we are still here for him". "Fine I'll go". He stood in front of Deidara's room, waited a few minutes, sighed and knocked on the door. Sasori's death was very sensitive subject and he hoped that he won't end up as a target for Deidara's bombs. He knocked again louder this time but no one opened the door. "Deidara it's me Kisame. Open the door". Still nothing. "I'm opening this door whether you like or not!". He opened the door and gasped. Deidara was laying on the floor passed out. Next to him was a blood stained kunai. Veins on his wrists have been cut. When he recovered from his initial shock he took the kunai and found some random shirt. He tore it apart and used it to bandage Deidara. He took him in his arms and carried him to the others.

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><p>He started waking up and saw a flash of light. Perfect it means he was dead and will see Sasori again. There was no way that he survived. He lost too much blood. He could see him before he cut himself. His perfect flawles face and that wonderfull red hair. "Come to me, Dei" he was whispering and how could he refuse. His happiness faded when he realised that light was only a bulb and instead of Sasori he saw Kisame and Konana looking at him. "Thank God you're alive. You really worried us. Are you alright?". "No I'm not, un! Why did you save me, un? Do I look like someone who wanted to be saved?". "Deidara I know how hard this is. I know how it's like when you lost someone you love. But you should try to get over it. Do you think he would like to see you like this?". "He can't see me just like you can't see the hell I am in. Yes you lost people dear to you but you still have Itachi, un. I have no one, un". Shakingly he got up and went to his room with Kisama following him. Of course he shoul have known that they won't leave him alone a single minute after his suicide attempt. Great. Just great.<p>

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><p><em>Burning rays of sun burned the desert. Every animal knew that it is better to find a shelter. Underground shelters were the best ones. They protected you both from the sun and the predators. But animals weren't the only ones who seeked shelter underground. A base was there well-hidden from the curious eyes of other people. Dust and spider webs were everywhere as a proof of a fact that it wasn't used for twenty years. But something more important was also there. A tank with a red haired male corpse inside it. But corpse's eyes suddenly flashed open. The male looked around for a minute and found the button on the tank. He pressed it and tank opened. He had no clothes on and only a few weapons were stored in this messy place but he didn't care. His jutsu worked. He was alive.<em>

**Author's note : It will have one more part which will be rated M. Just to let you know. DA- comment FF net- review**

**Sincerely yours,**

**SoulWithOutASoulmate**


	2. Chapter 2

SASODEI: PRICE OF ETERNITY

Part two

**Author's note: Thanks for the feedback on the first part I hope you will like this one. Enjoy. I'm back from the holiday (if anyone read my journal you know what I'm talking about).**  
><strong>Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto half of the characters wouldn't be single. Other half would be dead. Don't own anything.<strong>

_My fall will be for you,_  
><em>my love will be in you.<em>  
><em>You were the one who cut me<em>  
><em>so I will bleed forever.<em>  
><em>(Nightwish "Ghost love score")<em>

He was hot-headed and hard to control. Easy to get angry. Like a time bomb you would just sit and wait for it to explode. And yet somehow he managed to put up with everything. He could handle the 24/7 watch like he was some little baby. He could handle them forcing the food down his throat. He could even handle the fact that they stopped him from joining his lover. But everyone has their own limits. And they just crossed his. "No way, un! There is absolutely no way that I will allow him to take Danna's place! Stupid hyper retarded idiot, un!". "But why does Deidara- senpai hate Tobi? Tobi is a good boy" Tobi said in baby like crying voice. "Listen Deidara I respected the fact that you lost your partner. But this organization has a purpose. To collect the tailed beasts. We already lost enough time. You and Tobi will go and look for three tails whether you like it or not!" Pein said already boiling with rage. "I don't care, un! I don't care about you and your stupid organization. There was only one thing I cared about and it has been taken away from me, un! And what will you do if I refuse, un? Kill me? Go ahead I want to die anyway, un!". Pein was sure that he will explode with rage. Sasori deserved a medal for putting up with him. He actually thought about killing him but then he remembered that he was too important to lose. Besides Konan would kill him. "Go to your room Deidara. You too Tobi". Deidara went to his room and collapsed on the bed. He was tired from everything. Even his art lost sense without Sasori. Not even the explosions made him happy anymore. He just wanted to disappear into thin air. To slowly fade away and lose all his memories and feelings. To become nothing. Such ending was against everything he believed in but it would put an end to this hell. If only he stayed with Sasori. Then the old hag and the girl would be dead. His Danna would be alive. They would be lying in bed cudlling to each other happy and smiling. His heart would be filled with love not with this dull pain. He sighed. If only...

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><p>Sasori looked himself in the mirror. He still couldn't believe it actually worked. He looked just like his old self. But yet there was a difference.<br>This body wasn't made of wood created to kill and destroy. This wasn't living weapon. This was human body made of flesh. Made to feel. Made to love. He thought for a moment. Akatsuki base was quite far away. And he couldn't walk across the Land of wind unprotected like this. He was a wanted criminal after all. But then it hit him. He got into the room. Few minutes later he got out of it dressed like typical Suna shinobi. He had turban over his head and mask attached to it to conceal his face. He went to a small closet and pulled out a weapon scroll. He had some poison left in here so he took it also. It didn't look like much but to a skilled shinobi like him it was enough to kill anyone who might pose a threat. After he was ready he got out of the base and wondered of in a desert. When he looked at the desert his thought wandered to the one he loves the most. The clear sky was blue just like his eyes. The sand golden color reminded him of his soft silky hair. Oh God how much he missed the damn blonde!

THREE DAYS LATER

Sasori looked at the base in front of him. Finally he was there. Thank God because the intense desire he felt for the blonde was starting to drive him crazy. When he entered the base it was unusually quiet. They were probably on missions or they were running out of groceries. He entered the living room where most of the members was during the day. He only found Hidan watching a horror on TV. As soon as he noticed him Hidan jumped from the couch he was sitting on. "Who the fuck are you stupid idiot? And how the fuck did you get here?". Sasori looked at him like he was stupid. But then it hit him. The mask. He took of the mask and the turban revealing his face. " Saso- SASORI? HOW? YOU WERE SUPPPOSED TO BE DEAD YOU PUPPET FUCKER?". "I'm not dead. I used a jutsu to change my body to human. But I needed someone to 'kill me' in my puppet body so that my mind can wake up and take over this body". "Why the fuck would you do that? Do you have any fucking idea how big trouble you created?" Hidan said apparently very angry at the puppet master. " I don't understand what trouble. The only trouble you could have is finding a new member and you had Tobi. About the reason... It's not something I will be explaining to you". Hidan started speaking and his voice was sad "We weren't having troubles with finding a new fucking member to take your place. But when the fucking Blondie thought that you were dead he well you know how he is like fucking hot headed and all. He tried to kill himself but Kisame stopped him then Leader told him he has a new partner. He got fucking angry and locked himself in room and hasn't got out for three fucking days". Sasori just stared at Hidan. He didn't know that Deidara would think that he was actually dead. He talked to him about this jutsu once. He thought that if Deidara saw him he would figure out that he used it. But no. He had to be the overreacting brat like usual. "I'll go and see him".

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><p>He was angry at him. How many times has he told the brat to think before he acts? He found the door locked. Sighing he pulled out a small wire from his pocket and began turning it around in keyhole. Something clicked and the door opened. "I don't want see anyone!". Sasori climbed on the blonde who was laying in the bed his head facing the pillow. He leaned his head to Deidara's ear and whispered "Not even me you little brat?". Deidara froze. He turned his head around to face him "Danna if you're here that am I... am I dead, un?" All the anger Sasori had for Deidara faded. He could clearly see the relief but also the traces of pain the blonde experienced. Red puffy eyes from crying. Black bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. His usually perfect hair was a mess and the bright color turned dull. He picked him up in his lap and started stroking his hair. "You're not dead Dei. I'm alive". Deidara stared at him in disbelief. He was alive but he wasn't his Danna. "Your body... It feels human. You're not Sasori, un. He wasn't human and he would never turn himself human, un! Who are you?" Sasori let out a sad sigh "It is me Dei-" "Prove it. Say something only Danna could know". Sasori listed things he could say in his mind. "I was your first kiss". "Lucky guess, un". "You blushed when you first saw my true form". "That's obvious,un". Ok now Deidara was just being annoying. He pinned Deidara to bed holding his hands above his head. "I made love to you inside of Hiruko when we were on the mission to catch Shukaku. Was that a lucky guess you stupid brat?" Deidara moved his head up and kissed Sasori. "It's you, un. It's really you" he said filled with joy. He was back. His lover didn't leave him after all. Sasori let go of Deidara's hands "Of course it's me. Who else could it be?". Deidara chuckled lightly but his face turned serious again very soon. "You owe an explaniti-" a growl from his stomach has interrupted him and he looked away embarrassed. Sasori looked at him "Dei when was the last time you ate?" Silence. "Deidara...answer now". "Umm about two days ago, un". "WHAT? We need to get you something to eat". After a lot of convincing and baby feeding the blonde was finally full and back in their room waiting for the explanation. "I turned myself human because of you". "Me? But Danna I loved your puppet body, un". "I know you did Dei. But think about it. Over time you would grow old and die. And I would have to spend the eternity without you. And I just couldn't do it. Because I...I love you". Deidara jumped at him making them both fall to the floor. "I love you too, un" he kissed Sasori on the lips. Their kiss soon got deeper with their tongues rubbing against each other. Deidara moaned inside of the kiss. He started running his hands inside of the Sasori shirt but he was interrupted when Sasori flipped them over and broke the kiss.<p>

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><p>Deidara made small whining noise at the loss of the soft velvet lips. "Well just look at that. My sweet little Dei wants more" Sasori said in teasing voice tracing the blonde lips with his thumb. "Fine with me but I am sure you don't want to do it on the floor" he smirked and lifted Deidara on the bed. Ha laid over him once again capturing those sweet tasting lips. Sasori eventually got bored of kissing and took of Deidara's shirt breaking the passion filled kiss. He attacked his neck quickly finding his lover's sweet spot and sucking on it making the blond scream with pleasure. He moved lower and lower until his mouth stopped on pink nipple. He ran his tongue over it getting a loud moan from Deidara. He started to suck and Deidara got even louder(if that was even possible). Sasori skipped to the other one repeating the treatment. The blonde raise his shaky hands to unbutton the flak jacked and shirt Sasori was wearing. He finally succeeded and gazed at bare chest. If Sasori really looked like this as human then he really didn't understand how he was single back then. He had a muscular built not too much but just enough to make him look handsome. Sasori noticed where he was looking at and smirked. "You like what you see?". Deidara nodded. Sasori's hands reached the hem of Deidara's pants and he pulled them down along with the boxers. He looked at Deidar's hard, completely exposed member. He gently kissed the tip and took it in his mouth gently sucking. Blonde started to moan and buck his hips. He wanted he needed more.<p>

Sasori eventually took the entire length in his mouth sucking and licking up and down making the blonde eyes glaze over with the pure lust. As soon as he felt the bittersweet precum in his mouth he pulled away. He didn't needed the blonde to cum. Not yet. He grabbed a lube from his pocket and quickly took off his pants and boxers. He put the shiny substance on his three fingers pushing one by one in the blonde entrance. When all three were in he started thrusting them in and out preparing his lover and trying to find that special spot inside him. "AHHH! SASORI NO DANNA!". Oh so there it is. He pulled out the fingers and replaced them with his lubricated member.

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><p>He waited for Deidara to adjust. When Deidra signalized Sasori to move he started thrusting and his his sweet spot. Deidara moaned and Sasori kept thrusting loving the way how Deidara's walls were clenching around him. He was getting tighter and tighter and Sasori could tell Deidara was close. He took his meber and started pumping him along with his thrust. It drove Deidara over the edge and he came in Sasori's hand. Sight of the blonde cuming was all he needed. He came deep inside of him filling Deidara's insides. The lay next to each other panting. Deidara got closer to Sasri and laid his head on his chest. Soon they both fell into the blissful sleep. Lover bound by the invisible bound that was stronger than a steel cable. Eternity was beautiful but it had it's price. And sometimes, just sometimes that price was to high to pay.<p>

THE END

**Author's note: Finally finshed.**

**DA- comment**  
><strong>FF net- review<strong>

**Sincerely yours,**  
><strong>SoulWithOutASoulmate.<strong>


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